#and they would have seen monty python and the holy grail

[witchering10123]

you can't tell me that the marauders wouldn't have LOVED monty python

[drconstellation]

Once and Future Royalty

Just, stay with me on this one. I know its going to look crazy at the start, but trust me, I know where I'm going.

It all started with the 537AD scene in Wessex in the opening montage of "Hard Times," S1E3. Yeah, the one where Aziraphale is supposed to be a knight of the Round Table and Crowley is role-playing the Black Knight, and they are both so super-squeaky shiny clean - not a speck of dirt or mud on them. wtf! It looks out of place, unrealistic, and was bugging the crap out of me, like a stone in your shoe. It just didn't fit. I mean, why put a myth, a legend, into that sequence? Oh, OK, yeah, the preceding stories from the Bible, like the Garden of Eden and the Flood, aren't "myths" as well, you say? Hmm. In the context of the Good Omens AU, being a biblical based story, they belong there far more than the legend of King Arthur.

King Arthur, who supposedly united Britain under his rule during the late 5th century and early 6th century, was shown to have the divine right to rule by wielding the mighty sword Excalibur. Some stories tell of Arthur pulling Excalibur from a stone. Some tell of him receiving Excalibur from the Lady of the Lake. Either way, it was bestowed upon him by divine grace. Despite his triumph in battle, he left no heirs, as his queen, the fair Guinevere, was barren. She had a long-running love affair with the greatest knight of the court, Sir Lancelot, but despite this being an open secret in court Arthur would not put her aside. The knights of the Round Table in the court of Camelot were near-paragons of Christian virtue, and there are many tales of their search for the Holy Grail, the cup from the Last Supper of Jesus Christ.

In the end, mortally wounded in battle, Arthur was taken away for healing, and never seen again. It was said he would return when Britain was at it most direst hour to save the day once more. A "messianic" return.

The Once and Future King.

Now, I'm no Arthurian novice; I drank up all of T. H. White as a teenager, read the Dark is Rising multiple times, Marion Zimmer Bradley's interpretation and what ever else I could lay my hands on for a good couple of decades. And there is LOTS of King Arthur stuff around. You are not left wanting for anything new to read or consume. And I'll bet there are a fair few of you also out there who know a quite bit about the legend as well. Oh, and I can't tell you how many times I have watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. I still walk around quoting it day-to-day, like the good little Gen-Xer I am, having grown up on that stuff. So I really should have listened to my intuition when bits of Monty Python kept popping up in my brain in response to other parts of GO I was thinking about. (Staaay, I said, stay with me here....)

I kept chewing away furiously on the Wessex problem, growling in feral frustration at it, but also kept reading and sorting out some other ideas and metas at the same time. Eventually I found the key in a tiny little post, about a small detail in the 1941 Blitz episode S2E4, of all places. I wanted to slap myself with how much was staring me in the face so obviously once the door opened. And the damn beauty of it is, that I already written about some it, out of context, without knowing the why.

OK. Where to start this journey...hmmm, back to Monty Python, because, guess what - the Wessex scene is actually riffing off one the more famous skits out the the Holy Grail. The scene is a masterpiece of political satire, from start to finish, but the relevant part here is this sequence:

In case you missed the salient points: Arthur claims he is king by divine providence, because he was given Excalibur by the Lady of the Lake. Dennis the peasant protests this waterlogged method of determination, mentioning ponds, watery tarts and a moistened... well, I hope you get the idea about where this is going.

Meanwhile, in 537AD, Wessex, as the mist swirls around them:

"It is a bit damp," complains a shiny silver Aziraphale.

Yes, Excalibur would be a bit damp after it emerged from the Lake. (vidavalor! Get your mind out of the gutter! I'm trying to have a serious discussion here! Please! And I wasn't even going to go anywhere near what the sword in the stone is really meant to be referring to...it's not even relevant to the discussion at hand, I swear! Well, there is going to be sexual relations mentioned but - oh, never mind...)

Right. Where were we. Lets leave those super-clean elite pretendy knights to swim off through the swirling mist back to their dry homes to write and file reports to head office, along with Patsy and the hired Igors, and Dennis can keep playing in his lovely muddy filth after he finishes protesting being repressed by the divinely-deluded Arthur. I've got a bit more to say about what Aziraphale and Crowley might represent here later but you need some more context first, so lets move on. I just needed to show you the first bit so you can see the Arthurian theme stretches across both S1 and S2, and will likely appear in S3 as well. More about that towards the end.

Ah, before I forget...another ref from the Holy Grail we need to cover:

This GIF, unfortunately, doesn't have the full exchange between the peasants, which is this:

P1: "Who's that then?" P2: "I don't know. Must be a king." P1: "How can you tell?" P2: "Because he doesn't have any shit on him."

Ah. Er. OH!

Have you made the connection?

Who have I been emphasizing as being unusually clean in their Arthurian setting? That's right, Aziraphale and Crowley.

What's this implying? That they are royalty. Celestial royalty. Maybe not kings, but how about princes? You know how we've been discussing whether Crowley was a once at least an Archangel, and there is even a hint that he was a fallen prince of Heaven given during the replay of Gabriel's trial? (Not the prince, but a prince - a seraphim) And that Aziraphale may have once been Raphael, and may be again in the future? Once and future royalty. To me it adds weight to the past discussion, and helps to explain the assumed authority expressed in these two scenes here: On the left, Aziraphale takes control inside the book shop as the angels and demons argue who is going to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub (finally found it after several months!) and on the right, Crowley is shouting at the assembling demons in the street that they are "out of order."

Onward, Patsy. (I hope you're still with me.)

1941, the Blitz part 2, minisode.

We've found Excalibur! On to Camelot!

[Edit note: I've added a few GIFs and screen shots into the sequence of parallels above because I was thinking over a few things since I posted and felt this actually sat better. To try and explain, as they don't exactly match as I would like, in the Holy Grail movie, King Arthur and the knights he has gathered rock up at the foot of Camelot and gaze up in awe at it. "Camelot!" Arthur declares to the party. "Camelot!" Galahad echoes in excitement. And a third "Camelot!" comes from Lancelot. What do we get in GO? Aziraphale leaps out of the Bentley (Crowley's black horse) and declares "The theater! Sophocles! Shakespeare!" I swear, if you put the two side by side, they would match. It's not just a reminder of how much time Aziraphale has seen pass by, or that we are seeing a tragedy play out. But damn it, I could so just see Aziraphale attending a Sophocles performance in Athens back in the day...]

Camelot was King Arthur's castle and home of his court. In S2 of GO the Windmill Theater is established as our court of Camelot where our 1941 Blitz-era Arthurian drama is to play out, involving Furfur and the zombies.

Yes, poor old Furfur. Two's company, three's a crowd, as they say. Now we know we're in Camelot, we need to be reminded of the central tragedy of the Arthurian story, that ultimately led to the golden kingdom's fall. Lady Guinevere, Arthur's queen, famously loved Sir Lancelot, and the two were passionate lovers. It was essentially a love-triangle at the top, with Arthur being jilted, but he wouldn't/couldn't discard his queen. Where do we see this playing out in 1941?

Furfur, pleased with himself for catching an angel and a demon in the act of consorting together (with the help of the zombies,) barges into the backstage dressing room, and confronts the lovers with their crime. But who is playing who in the Arthurian love triangle? I would say Furfur is clearly caught in the role of Arthur here. Consider the following exchange:

FURFUR: Hmm, well, well, well… What have we here? AZIRAPHALE: Sorry, have we met? FURFUR: Oh, no, you never had the pleasure, but… we have, haven't we? CROWLEY: Have we? FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember? CROWLEY: I remember going into battle, I don't remember being there with you. Sorry. FURFUR: I was right next to you. We did loads together. You use to jump on me back, little monkey in the waistcoat. Anyway, whether you do or whether you don't, it doesn't matter. I'm here to inform you, as a representative of the Higher Powers of Hell, that you, Crowley, are in breach of the Infernal Code. Consulting and collaborating with an angel, Fell the Marvelous, aka… [opens book] Azirapalala. Azirapapap. Aziphapalala. AZIRAPHALE: [annoyed] Aziraphale

Furfur claims a past intimate relationship with Crowley, which Crowley spurns offhandedly. Crowley is playing Guinevere here, jilting Furfur/Arthur, which leaves the demon-smiting Aziraphale standing in for the handsome hero Lancelot (with his French connections, no less), and doesn't he make us weak at the knees when he drops his voice an octave in dominating disgust. (Is it suddenly getting hot in here...? Phew!)

Interestingly, looking back in S1 at 537AD Wessex, though, I would say that Crowley was Lancelot as the Black Knight, a role that Lancelot sometimes played in the legends, and Aziraphale would then be the fair maiden Guinevere. It certainly plays into Crowley's long term role of playing the knight who comes to the rescue of Aziraphale's princess in distress. Excalibur was no where in sight, perhaps still beneath the waters of the lake. Nor Arthur. Perhaps it was still too early in the story then...

I had originally suggested in my very first post that Furfur was given a stag as his demon avatar because he was wearing horns for being cuckolded by Crowley. But I wasn't quite thinking about it in context with the Arthurian legend! The stag is also often associated with royalty, plus while wandering around the medieval bestiary website that someone linked to, it interestingly notes that the enemy of the snake is the stag and the stork (Shax's avatar.) Ah ha!

So how can we extrapolate this knowledge into a possible appearance of the Arthurian theme in S3?

Will we see the love triangle of Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot come back into play and cause more chaos? I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the Fall.

Or will our lovers bring down a divinely-appointed ruler via their committed behind-the-back defiance of expected propriety?

Will Excalibur appear from beneath the waters, perhaps in another form, to declare a new king?

Could it even be a combination Jesus/Arthur, King of the World, returned? And they turn out to be a very naughty boy, disappearing into the night clubs of Times Square, New York, and that's how they lose him? (Social media viral sensation, anyone?)

I wouldn't be half-surprised if Greasy Johnson's name turns out to be Arthur, actually.

And no, I haven't forgotten that Adam's dad was named Arthur as well.

Bring on S3!

**Bonus**

If you've made it this far and you're thinking:

Let me leave you with this last connection.

In the back stage change room, remember Furfur delivers these lines:

FURFUR: What do you mean "have we?" You know we have. We were in the same legion. Just before the Fall. Doing dubious battle on the plains of Heaven. Remember?

On the first level, he is referring the Great War in the Good Omens AU.

On the second level, Furfur is paraphrasing Milton's Paradise Lost.

On a third level, I can (and will in a future meta) connect this back to the training initiative paintball fight at Tadfield Manor in S1.

And even deeper on a fourth level, if you do know the Holy Grail movie well, you'll remember there is an odd little subplot in it, that infers that the whole King Arthur and his knights thing is merely a full-on violent cosplay that is murderously rampaging across the countryside in the present day with the police in hot pursuit. It's a strange juxtaposition between reality and dream, and you aren't quite sure what it is real or not. The ending is bizarrely and abruptly surreal as the two story lines collide in the heat of battle, as the police turn up and arrest the combatants. A bit like this:

[louis--wifey]

Your Stupid Face || Texcali

Pairing: Texas x California

Warning(s): angst with a fluffy ending

Word count: 1346

Summary: Based on Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay

Texas would not be shocked to find out that California hated him. He didn't like him much either. They had to deal with each other because of the state meetings that they both would agree are insanely tedious. At least they could agree on something, right?

California hated Texas, hated how happy he was, hated how proud he was, hated how patriotic he was. He hated everything about him from his looks to his views. California hated Texas because he could never agree with him. Their views were so different there is no way that either of them could truly ever get along.

Sometimes Cal would like to insult Texas straight to his face and tell him that he's a disgrace to humanity but he doesn't do that. He has too much of a guilt complex to insult anyone right to their face.

That doesn't stop him from thinking mean things though, or imagining that he's saying them to Texas. He’d imagined the hurt look on his face and smiled to himself. Does that make him a horrible person?

If California could make Texas disappear without a trace then he would consider it a perfect world. But since the world could never be that great, he’ll just hate his stupid face.

California was glad that he only saw Texas on meeting days but his gladness went away when he was forced to stay at the statehouse. It didn't help that Florida and Louisiana messed with the room chart… California was placed right beside Texas and had to share a bathroom with him, New York, Washington, and Oklahoma.

Cal has lived at the statehouse for three months now. He sees Texas everyday, hears him laughing, notices his smiles. They actually started getting along.

California was shocked to say the least when Texas asked him to join him and a few other states to a movie night. He didn't really ask, he just shoved a bowl of popcorn in Cal’s hands and told him to join him in watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Something about Texas suddenly asking California to do random activities with him became normal. Cal actually liked it.

At some point he laid in bed, eyes wide open at the realization that he liked Texas. He really liked Texas. “Nooo!” He’d groan to himself. How could this happen? He hated Texas, right?

California really liked how happy Texas looked. He really liked his laugh, and his smile. He just really liked his face. He’d like to tell him but how could he? They were so different. And Cal wasn't one to flaunt his love. Maybe he’d hope that Texas would notice or even say that he liked him first.

California had come to enjoy state meetings because he sat across from Texas, meaning he could stare at him. Texas did notice this, he’d notice that every time he’d notice Cal staring at him, California would turn red and look away.

Texas started talking to him more after that. They’d hang out so much it confused all the other states, did they like each other now? Yes. At some point they’d shared their first kiss.

When Texas wasn't at a meeting or even in the same room as California he felt so out of place. Like a plant without roots or a song on mute.

Part of California believed that Texas should fear being in a relationship with him. Every relationship he’d ever been in ends horribly, he'd eventually scare him away.

If the world was perfect, Texas would have never invaded California’s space. But the world is obsessed with saying “psych”. Now Cal likes his stupid face.

California and Texas have been together for a month and a half. They cuddled almost every night, watched movies together, and listened to music. California was somewhat shocked when Texas said he hadn't seen Brokeback Mountain so they watched it immediately.

Eventually California would become correct, he got too comfortable and he couldn't take it. Before he knew it, he was sabotaging his own relationship, like he’d done so many times before.

Texas and California got into a fight. A fight left Cal standing helpless in the middle of his room and Texas's back getting further away.

Cal laid curled up in his bed, thinking of what he should’ve done. Why was he like this? Finally a good thing came his way and he sabotaged it like he’d always done.

California still couldn't stop thinking about Texas and how much he missed his face, his smile, his laugh, his touch… But it didn't matter now, Texas was probably disgusted by him, by his stubbornness.

California knew life was cruel and that he was cruel to himself. He was foolish to trust himself, he was foolish to trust Texas. He knew he was being senseless. How could he be so naive? How could he be naive enough to put his heart in his sleeve knowing that he would drop it himself.

If the world was perfect Texas would be in California’s embrace. Since the world denied him one last kiss, Cal will just miss his stupid face.

Three weeks passed after their break up. California was startled by a knock on his bedroom door. He stood from his bed and opened his door. Cal was shocked to see Texas standing there.

California’s breath caught in his throat. “What are you doing here?” He asked, he came out much more coldly than he met for it to be.

Texas stood there for a minute, “I thought about you. After you ran away-”

“I didn't run away!” California crosses his arms defensively. He paused for a moment. “It was, it was a strategic retreat.”

Texas gave him a look and rolled his eyes in a superficial way. “I want to talk to you.”

“What is there to talk about?” California asked in an almost theatrical manner. “It's over, I ruined it.”

“Well… Are you sorry?” Texas asked, he tilted his head to the side as he did.

“Well, yeah, of course I'm sorry, but-” California started, he couldn't forgive himself even though he was sorry.

“Then I forgive you.” Texas stepped towards Cal and placed his hand on his cheek.

“No, no, don't forgive me!” California snapped and pushed Texas's hand away from him. “Why do you do that? Why, why give me another chance to mess things up?”

Texas swatted California’s hand away and placed his back on Cal’s cheek. “Because I love you.”

California stood there in complete shock. “Because you, what?”

Those three words were completely uncalled for, especially from Texas. Why didn't he hate him? Why did he care? Couldn't he just barate him? Wouldn't that be fair?

How could he leave their problems and pain on the shelf! If Texas didn't hate California then he couldn't hate himself. But maybe that's why Cal needed him, he shattered his fear. Despite his misdeed, Texas was still right there.

California thinks that it was stupid to date him but Texas was willing to try. If Tex didn't hate him, why should he?

California stared up at Texas. “Are you sure you don't want to give up on me?”

Texas smiled down at Cal. “I’m sure.”

“You're a moron…” California muttered as Texas leaned forward and kissed him.

So Texas thought that they could work? Here, California thought he was the dumb one. Texas smirked down at California. “What?” California asked as he pouted.

Texas forgave him for all he did wrong, he was unmuting a song, and California felt like he was in the right place. Once again he belonged to someone.

California wished Texas would drop his stupid smirk, though by now he'd earned that. No matter how intensely Cal would pout, Tex’s would always win out, it's time California learned that.

Though they went together like a Chanel No. 5 and mace. At least it's not as dull as fitting like a glove. Texas is a nightmare that California had not been dreaming about. When push came to shove, California loved his stupid face.

[discount-shades]

Sleepy Baby Part 12

a/n: This will make more sense if you have seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin X reader

Warnings: None, back to fluff

Word Count: 1400 ish

Summary: Jake is Lancelot and Kisses is Guinevere

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When Jake had said he only had twenty six months left in San Diego you saw two options, either end it then and there or go all in. The prospect of living the rest of your life without Jake was unimaginable so it had been an easy decision to bet it all. Even though neither of you are behaving differently everything feels like it has shifted. 

Knowing that what you were feeling was real and had a future made everything seem easier. You had a goal. You and Jake were building a future together. While the relationship had started as a happy accident and a fun way to get back out there emotionally, it was now the foundation to your future. 

True to his word Jake had become one of Grace’s biggest supporters, always encouraging you to spend time with her and the small group of friends you began to develop. When you brought it up to him he admitted that your not quite hypothetical future marriage was one of his reasons. 

“When I’m deployed you need people in your life you can turn to.”  He explained. “Any of my Navy buddies like Javy will help if they can, but you’re right, they would be helping you for me and it won’t be the same support system.”

You still saw the Dagger Squad often and that is how you ended up back at the Hard Deck clustered around the pool table at the back. Jake was playing and easily beating everyone. He finally beats Phoenix and casually walks over to you. 

“You’re my good luck charm,” he throws his arm around you as you sit perched on a stool. You roll your eyes and grin up at him as he kisses you on your lips. 

“I don’t believe that for a second,” you tell him. “At the risk of overinflating your ego, I have it on good authority that it's a game of skill.”

“No, it’s my love for you that lets me win,” he says with a false sense of confidence. “And to prove my love to you I shall beat Rooster next.” You glance over at Bradley and see him racking up the balls for the next game.

“Jake, you would win even if I wasn’t here,” you tell him. “If you love me you’ll lose.” You gaze at Jake with a forced innocent expression that is hard to maintain at the look on his face. 

“No,” Jake's small response is confused and offended. 

“It’s Arthurian Jake,” you say dramatically, “Guinevere asked Sir Lancelot to lose at a tournament to prove his love. Your pool cue will be your lance.”

“You’re Lancelot-ing me?” he says in disbelief. “If I am Lancelot and you are Guinevere our love is doomed and I don’t like that ending.” He is standing between your spread legs and his hands slide to your hips pulling you closer. 

“We can rewrite that part.” you tell him with a kiss. “Now go out and lose for me, Sir Lancelot.”

He sighs in resignation, “is this what you really want my Queen Guinevere?”

“Sure is,” you grin mischievously. “But you can’t make it obvious you are losing on purpose.” 

“Hangman, leave your girl alone and get over here and play some pool.” You peek over Jake's shoulder at Bradley’s words before turning back to Jake with a grin and raise your eyebrows in challenge.

“The things I do for love,” Jake’s breath moves over your neck as he whispers in your ear and you burst out laughing. 

“No way,” Bradley calls out, pointing at you. “It’s like poker all over again. You are not allowed to talk to her while we are playing, and she is not allowed to talk to you.” 

“Can I at least cheer him on?” you say indignation in your voice.

“Fine,” Bradley agrees, “you can cheer him on and console him when I win.” Jake glares at Bradley but agrees with a huff and they begin to play.

Bob ends up sitting beside you watching. Jake is playing poorly. He is not missing really obvious shots but he is not playing to the same ability that he usually plays at, only sinking one or two balls per turn. “What did you say to him to throw him off?” Bob asks you in confusion. “He is usually way better than this.” 

“Uhhhhmmmm,” you tug on your hair. “I may or may not have told him to prove he loved me by losing.” you shoot a sheepish look at Bob. 

Bob snorts, “You ‘A Knight’s Tale-ed’ him? Come on, did you really need to do that to know he loves you?”

“No, I know he does, and I’m pretty sure it is originally Arthurian.” You pause your conversation with Bob to console Jake after a shot bounces off the edge of the pocket and rolls back across the table. 

“It’s OK, Babe, you nearly had it!” Jake glares at you with the tiniest hint of a grin on his face shaking his head and you smile back. 

“Then why did you ask him to lose?” Bob is looking back and forth between you and Jake. 

“I don’t know, I thought it would be funny,” you say with a grin at Bob. “Maybe it's a role play we like to do, you know, to spice things up in the bedroom.” 

“Ew,” Bob looks at you with a wrinkled nose. “I do not want to hear about yours and Hangman's sex life.”

You just laugh before looking at the table. The game is almost over. “Quick you have to go tell Jake to win!” You say shaking Bob’s arm. 

“Oh no,” he shakes his head, “I don’t want to be in the middle of whatever you two have going on!” 

“Please Bob,” you say desperately as Jake chalks the tip of his cue. He has four balls left and to win he would have to sink them all and then the 8 ball without missing any. “Bradley won’t let me talk to him. Please be my fair maid and tell my valiant knight that if he loves me he will win!”

Bob looks at you in disappointment before sighing and going over to Jake mumbling, “I’m going to regret this.”

You watch eagerly as Bob walks over to talk quietly to Jake with a pained expression on his face and grin impishly when Jake jerks his head up to glare at you at Bob's words. Bob slinks back to your side and hangs his head in defeat. “I can’t believe I did that for you.” He shudders, “I feel dirty.”

“Cheer up Bob,” you nudge him with your shoulder. “I was joking about it being a sex thing.”

“That does make me feel a little better.” You watch Jake sink his final 4 balls with an intense look on his face.

“It wasn’t about sex when I said it originally, but that could change,” you eye Jake’s hungry look with a grin as he stalks over to you after sinking the 8 ball and winning the game. 

“My Queen,” he says and pulls you to your feet before dipping you dramatically and kissing you. 

“My Valiant Knight you have proven your love,” you run your fingers through his hair smiling and pull his lips back to you yours. You can hear Bradley arguing with Bob in the background over what he said to Jake.

Jake hums happily into your kiss before standing both of you back up. “I am your King,” he corrects before giving you another kiss.

“Well I didn’t vote for you.” Your attempt at a British accent is terrible.

Jake looks at you frowning. “I was rewriting us a happier ending.”

“Oh,” you say in realization, laughing and continuing to talk in the terrible accent, “oh King eh, very nice.”

You yelp and jump closer as Jake smacks your ass, “you’re a brat.”

“If you are spanking me that makes you Galahad and you are in terrible peril.” 

Jake pulls you in close and you slide your hands up his chest and loop them around his neck so you are pressed against his hard body. “I’ll have to face my peril,” his words are spoken between heated kisses. 

“You’re sure it's not too perilous?” you ask, grinning into his lips.

Jake drags his lips down your neck placing soft kisses as he goes. “It’s my duty to sample the peril.” 

“Please go home.” Bob is still sitting in his chair next to your vacated one. Jake laughs and pulls you to the bar to pay the tab.

[thebarontheabyss]

Haven’t seen a ~character ask~ for a while heree so lemme ask:

The bar has a dvd and a tv now, what will be each character fav movie to watch?

Hehehe thanks, I love answering asks like that!

Keep them coming; it actually really helps me define the characters.

Now for your brilliant ask!

Death would absolutely adore Pride & Prejudice. They will get swept up in the romance, falling for both Elizabeth and Darcy (bi icon), releasing little sniffles and dreamy sighs while reaching for the tissues.

Lilith/Damian would be all in for Mad Max: Fury Road. The non-stop action and sheer chaos would have them on the edge of their seat, "We should have a race like that!" they'd shout, already plotting a hellish version of their own.

Morgan/a will be captivated by The Matrix, drawn to its alien technology—so far from magic yet a bit similar. The problem? They spend hours over-analyzing it, boring poor Pepper out.

Hastur is another surprise—it's Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The coconut horse joke will send him reeling, and his usual calm will be shattered by uncontrolled chuckles.

Peisinoe is kind of obvious—but it's Chicago! Afterward, they will definitely add "All That Jazz" to their setlist.

Bless her heart, Shelly will be obsessed with Charlotte's Web, and honestly, that's a top-notch choice. So she ate.

Yaga would hate 90% of movies in existence but also would absolutely love The Princess Bride.

The Raven's love for Mean Girls would have him quoting lines at every opportunity, much to everyone's annoyance. Stop trying to make fetch happen, Raven.

He Without Name will never ask for a specific movie, but if you put WALL-E on, he becomes surprisingly animated, echoing the robots with a hint of joy.

[mama-qwerty]

Unintentional Insult

From the Knucklesverse au.

~~~~~

Callie sat on the couch, Eclipse spread across her lap, Silver at her hip. Around her sat a handful of Knuckles. (Yes, she was aware that a group of echidna was call a 'parade' but saying there was a 'parade' of Knuckles in her house sounded stupid, so she made up her own term. A handful. Which made so much more sense to her.)

All eyes were on the television before them. She'd treated the group to a movie night at her house, and put in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She figured it was a safe enough bet for all involved, and thought Gawain may get a kick out of seeing 'himself' featured in a movie.

It seemed to be a hit—lots of laughs at the jokes and various silliness. Little Z got a kick out of the Black Knight, and Cal figured they'd hear the Tis but a scratch! thing in the foreseeable future.

She kept flicking her eyes to Gawain to gauge his reaction, and found him sitting with a slight frown on his muzzle. Curious, she paused the movie, much to the annoyance of the others.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, Gawain?"

The echidna turned, almost startled, at the interruption. "I am . . . surprised to see there were people so similar to us on your world. Is this based on factual events?"

A smile curled Callie's lip. "Eh, not really. I mean, the Arthurian legend is real, but this is just satire. A funny story with the characters."

Gawain lowered his head, in the classic "Knuckles thinking" pose. He hummed, his brow furrowed.

"I suppose given the different forms we've seen in the Sanctuary, it shouldn't seem strange that there would be a human version of myself. But somehow it seems . . . strangest of all."

Callie lifted an eyebrow. "Oh? How so?"

The echidna shook his head, glancing back at the TV. "Hearing my name directed at a human is odd."

The woman shrugged. "We didn't have any echidna Knux's. Maybe this was the universe's way to bring that bit of honor and nobility to Earth."

Gawain nodded, but still looked distracted. "I understand that, but still. There are other creatures that could carry a similar nobility. Why a human?"

A tense silence settled over the living room then. It took Gawain a moment to realize what he'd said, and he turned with wide eyes to the others.

The other Knuckles’ stared at him, glared at him. Boom lay on his belly next to him, Dread was on the couch leaning against the arm. Gnarly and Renegade sat on the floor with their backs against the couch on Callie's other side. And Little Z sat at Callie's other hip.

And they all wore identical expressions of annoyance.

Even Eclipse and Silver stared at the knight.

Gawain flicked his eyes up to Callie, the actual human in their midst. She simply watched him, her eyes slightly narrowed, but a little curl on her lips.

He swallowed hard.

"I . . ." he started, clearing his throat to rid the slight shake. "I meant no disrespect. There's nothing wrong with being a human, of course, I simply don't . . . I didn't . . ."

"Ye better think long and hard ‘bout the next words outta yer mouth, lad," Dread said, his own eyes narrowing. His lip pulled into a slight snarl. "'Cause I won't sit here an' let ye insult this fine lass simply for how she be born."

Gawain swallowed again. He wasn't normally one to give any credence to Dread's threats, but he'd stuck his foot in his mouth and it was hard to extract it at the moment.

"I . . ." he said again, and pushed himself to stand. He held his hands in tight fists by his sides, and gave Callie a firm bow. "I apologize for my insult. I . . . I didn't think. I hope you don't think too ill of me now."

He straightened and looked toward the front door, where his armor was neatly stacked. Callie had made him take them off so it didn't scratch or snag any of her furniture.

"I believe I should go. I am sorry for my rudeness."

The echidna turned and hurried toward the door, cursing his tongue for saying something so rude without thinking. He reached for his breastplate when a hand fell on his shoulder. Gawain whirled, expecting perhaps Dread ready to lash out, but found Callie instead.

"Hey," she said, her voice soft. "Hang on a sec. I wasn't insulted. Humans are . . . well, we can be problematic, yeah. But that's not really strange, I don't think. I'd wager any species could have their bad eggs, echidna included. But I understand it feeling a little odd to hear your name attached to someone else."

Gawain stood with his head slightly lowered, but gave her a nod. "I am still sorry for what I said. Before you and Madam Maddie, the only other human I encountered was a vile witch who wanted to claim the kingdom as her own. So . . . I did not have a very good impression of your kind."

Callie hunkered down on one knee to come more face-to-face with the echidna.

"Hey, I get it. I mean, if I met Dread first, I probably wouldn't have a very good impression of echidna in general, either."

"Oi! I can hear ye!" a voice called, the annoyance evident. "And here I be stickin' up for ye! Aye, there's gratitude for ye."

Callie gave Gawain a little smile, which the knight returned.

"No need to be sorry, and no need to leave. C'mon, wanna finish the movie? I'll make some popcorn."

Gawain seemed to consider this, before giving her a shy smile. "May I have some of that warm cocoa?"

"Absolutely. C'mon, you can even help."

His misdeed forgotten, Gawain smiled, and followed his friend toward the kitchen. Callie passed by the couch, as Dread gave her a little evil eye.

"Where be my apology?"

Callie shoved his hat a little further down on his head with a smirk. "You still love me, little pirate man. You know it."

Dread gave a little grunt, straightening his hat. "Against me better judgment."

"Want a popcicle?"

A pause. "Yes, ma'am."

Boom pushed himself up. "Oh, snacks?! Count me in!"

Callie found herself leading a handful of Knuckles, a hedgehog, and a darkling into the kitchen, ready to raid her cabinets to satisfy their case of the munchies.

[icy-watch]

It wasn't outright stated, but I'm almost 100% sure that King is a Titan. The child of the Titan that makes up the Boiling Isles.

Which would mean that there's very long gestation period for an egg. Unless, King's gestation period was longer than normal due to nobody being around to actually care for the egg as it should have been.

This is a very bold claim, but it feels right. A lot of things just kind of point to it. Especially in this episode alone.

It's just really sad bc when King realizes where his father is, and what Belos has done to him... Yeah.

That symbol that King carved into his name tag. I'm really not sure if that's his name or a spell or something. It really was all over the tower.

My mind is also going to Francois. First and foremost: Where did that rabbit get a knife? I know rabbits are deadly, I've seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) numerous times. So, like, if worst comes to worse, I know how to get rid of Francois.

A part of me is thinking that Francois is somehow animate. Either by someone controlling the stuffed animal or by a spell.

Another part of me is thinking that, like Sophie Hatter in Howls Moving Castle by Dianna Wynne Jones, by talking to Francois, King made him animated.

It's probably neither of those, but that's where my brain's at.

This episode was the second time a minor character who can alter the physical appearance of their body swung an axe at Luz. I'm pretty sure that's foreshadowing to something in the future. A main antagonist using an against Luz.

That probably won't happen until later this season tho.

Ok, so, I'm feeling like only 1 episode tomorrow unless I can magically squeeze in 2. I'd really like that, but things just haven't been aligning well when I try for it. So, just the 1. Until then!

[halfetirosie]

˖⁺‧₊˚ Shenanigans are Shenanigan-ing ˚₊‧⁺˖

(Marvels 01-02 React-os!)

WELL THEN, THIS IS QUITE THE DRAMATIC WAY TO COLD-OPEN AN EVENT...

(Me: *Opens the event*)

(*Immediately greeted with DEATH*)

Okay Game, you have my attention! Damn! XD

2) In WHAT UNIVERSE would Resident Giant Quincy and Tiny King Topper kill each other???

(No, really, in which universe? We already know about the Nu World Demon King's universe, so there's bound to be more...)

Honestly tho, the image of tiny Topper viciously fighting Quincy is honestly hilarious to me.

Like, have any of ya'll seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail? Remember the part with the bunny? I imagine it going something like that! (≧∇≦)

3) PFFFFFT!!!!! (≧∇≦)

♡ DRUNK TOPPER!!!! ♡

(I know he's old enough to be legally allowed to drink alcohol, but just because he can doesn't mean he should...)

4) Whoever does the lil' animations in the events should get a raise!!!

I know they're not super detailed---it's literally just moving PNGs around on the screen---but damn, if they aren't just the funniest and most charming things!!!

5) FINALLY, A GOOD VEST OUTFIT FOR EIDEN!!!!!

HONESTLY???? Loving it! With the unbuttoned shirt, sunglasses, and loose tie, it's giving me big

⁺˚⋆｡°✩ 1970s vibes! ✩°｡⋆˚⁺

6) Rei being an Introvert Icon; never telling the fam when they arrive or when they leave, not being noticed, people-watching...

7) REIIIII!!!! JUST LET THEM LOVE YOUUUU!!!!!

*heavy sigh*

Like, on the one hand, I relate to the introversion. But also, knowing what we know about Rei---bitch, he NEEDS THE HUMAN INTERACTION!!!

(Oh GOD, I'm starting to feel like a nagging grandmother now....WELL THAT'S TOO BAD, CUZ SOMETIMES THE OLD FOLKS' WISDOM IS CORRECT!!!!!)

8) 🚨🚨🚨 HOT GUY ALERT!!!! 🚨🚨🚨

Yoooo, the fashion sense of this dude is RIDICULOUS (positive)!!!!

Is he a bird yokai?? Like a crow or something, since crows in stories are known for liking shiny things?? (He does have on a bird mask like the bird yokai we've seen before, and fingers have a gradient thing going on, so I suspect he's a yokai.)

If he is, then that does make things more interesting, because hasn't it been mentioned multiple time that humans and yokai aren't on very familiar/friendly terms?? Do the event organizers not know that this dude is a yokai???

I'm intrigued....

♡ End of report! ♡

[seriousbrat]

Serious question: what do you think Lily’s favorite movie was?

Okay I've been thinking about this question! It's somewhat difficult because I don't think she would have been going to see a lot of movies later in the 70s, not once she's in the Order- though maybe she might have taken James at some point just so he could see what it was like.

Unfortunately (because I hate w*ody Allen) i kind of think she might have liked Annie Hall (1977), had she seen it. But I think my answer might be Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). I can see her taking James to Life of Brian as well. Maybe she liked something weird like Harold and Maude (1971) but she was a bit young when it was released, or something alt and punky like Jubilee (1978)

There were probably films from the 60s she saw on television (back then it apparently took like... a decade for films to appear on TV after being released in cinemas) like Georgy Girl (1966) and A Taste of Honey (1961). I see her liking films about plucky young heroines haha. Also I think she would have pretended not to like things like Grease because Petunia did lol, but secretly enjoyed them.

And I know you didn't ask about TV but she likely would have been watching more TV than movies since it was more accessible/constantly available, things like Coronation Street, Fawlty Towers and ofc Doctor Who. She probably grew up with Oliver Postgate series (they're beautiful, highly recommend) like The Clangers and Pogles' Wood, as well as Blue Peter and the Basil Brush Show lol (he's a fox, not a squirrel!)

Sorry that got so long!!

[tookishcombeferre]

A Just War?: Was There an Uprising on the Horizon Beyond Sorcerers in the Kingdom of Enchancia and Beyond? Part 1: What is Just War and Why am I doing this to You?

"Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!" (Monty Python and the Holy Grail) So, I will preface this by saying this was my bread and butter when I was a budding English major in university. I studied psycho-social dilemmas in literature from a combination of historical, theological, and psychological perspectives. Now ... I am stay at home parent, and I am happy to do that. But, your boy has gotta put their mind to work somewhere. Sooooooooo ... I am applying my theoretical English work that I used to use on novels like Lord of the Rings, Les Miserables, and a whole bunch of other classics to Sofia the First because, why the heck not. This is long, and really academic. I've thought about this way more than I should have. The revolutionary in me that loves Les Miserables is just like ... I'd have loved to have seen the peasants just rise up against Roland II led by my abused little trash-panda sorcerer boy because, I think, Roland is a tyrant. I'm mostly kidding? Please don't take me fully seriously. I am taking the show WAY too seriously on purpose. I just really wanted an excuse to write this essay. Okay?

Anyway, here are my justifications for why the peasants, Cedric, and really all of Roland II's staff, would be justified in overthrowing him and instituting a democracy or some kind of other system of government according to their own choice. Essay below the cut. This will be a multi part post. I broke Tumblr. Tags apply across posts. (Dear Lord above, what am I writing?)

First post is outlining, what is "Just War?" Here is a link to a whole article on Just War Theory. But, to summarize the point that I'm focusing on I'm going to use a couple of bullet points.

Historically, there are rules to how the war should be fought they are as follows:

A. The war can only be fought with certain weapons, with certain styles of combat, and in a certain way.

B. The warring peoples share a set of values, and the person declaring war is declaring war on the way the other person broke those values.

C. However, this all goes out the window when someone is seen as "less than human" because then we can't talk to each other anymore.

2. However, Just War Theory seeks to provide terms that go beyond those above three conventions because it wants to include those "less than human" parties in the conversation.

3. There are three parts to Just War Theory they are as follows: A. The Jus Ad Bellum Convention: This basically states that the warring parties have "just cause, being a last resort, being declared by a proper authority, possessing right intention, having a reasonable chance of success, and the end being proportional to the means used." (See link) So, like, this has to do with the pre-thought. It's all about the reasoning and what you did to prevent it from happening.

B. The Principles of Jus In Bello: This basically states that "just conduct within war fall under the two broad principles of discrimination and proportionality. The principle of discrimination concerns who are legitimate targets in war, whilst the principle of proportionality concerns how much force is morally appropriate." (See link) So, this section has to do with what the people do in the war. Who is caught in the crossfire? Who are your targets? Are they the right targets? When you find your targets, what kind of force do you use? Do you kill them? Do you just arrest them? Do you freeze them with magical stone powers? (Kay, we don't do that IRL, but you get the idea.) C. Jus post bellum: This states that once someone is conquered in whatever way they're going to be conquered that "the principle of discrimination should be employed to avoid imposing punishment on innocents or non-combatants; the rights or traditions of the defeated deserve respect; the claims of victory should be proportional to the war’s character; compensatory claims should be tempered by the principles of discrimination and proportionality; and, controversially, the need to rehabilitate or re-educate an aggressor should also be considered." So, that means that once you conquer another person you should not excessively punish the citizens of that country and you should try to teach the person you conquered not to do the bad thing again - if possible.

In this case study, we focusing only on the first part of the question. Meaning, we are focusing on whether or not Roland II deserves to go down and his citizens and staff deserve a better king. In my hypothetical case study, the war has not happened yet. We have not built the barricade ... yet. Part 1|| Part 2

[hollowwhisperings]

The Mythology of Keyblades: Riku the Beach Boy of Avalon

This theory is partially Crack and partially a genuine investigation into the usage of Arthurian mythology within the KH series.

(this line from Monty Python & the Holy Grail inspired this whole theory: all i had to do was replace the referenced [Lady of the Lake] with Riku)

If you've loitered about the Kingdom Hearts fandom enough and read enough interviews with Tetsuya Nomura, you'll soon conclude that Riku is Tetsuya Nomura's Favourite Child in this series. Riku is the driving force for most of KH's story beats & Riku has played deuteragonist to Sora, story-wise if not in gameplay, in every game that isn't a prequel. Riku seems to gain a new & unique special ability with every game (often at a harsh price). Yet, for all the time the audience spends with Riku... the series is very careful about revealing anything about the boy beyond his utter devotion to Sora. The game even encourages players to Forget and Overlook the integral roles Riku plays in the series, typically via throwing a Kairi between him & Sora.

Jokes aside, while Riku's Secret Anime Prince coding is STRONG, it is not the point being explored here: there are 2 seemingly nonsensical Disney Crossovers established prior to most everything else: 'Alice in Wonderland' (something somewhat explored in my 'Princesses of Light as Stars' series of tinhattery) and 'The Sword In The Stone'. This post shall examine the latter, an animated adaption of the King Arthur myth, and how it is represented in KH not solely through the character of 'Merlin' but as the underlying principle behind the x-blade, Keyblade Wielding & how Riku acts as Kingdom Hearts itself.

Boy at Beach Distrubiting Swords

Let's start with Riku's Keyblades: he has had more than one, not due to gears or keychains but due to... apparently being able to churn fresh swords from his Heart as the Plot Requires.

The different keyblades used by Riku throughout the series thus far are the following:

Kingdom Key (Sora's default keyblade)

Souleater/Way to the Dawn (Riku's default from KH1 until KH2.9)

the Keyblade of Heart (while possessed by Apprentice Xehanort's Heartless, AKA Ansem Seeker of Darkness);

the [Combined Keyblade/"Gayblade"] (alongside Sora)

Braveheart (Riku's current keyblade)

(given that King Mickey found Kingdom Key-D in the Dark equivalent of the Destiny Islands & the whole "x-blade was made of light & darkness" thing... THAT keyblade, currently wielded by King Mickey, may ALSO come from Riku)

That's 5 different keyblades (6 if we include Kingdom Key-D), and ALL have been seen onscreen with at least 1 other, typically Kingdom Key, marking each of these keyblades as being 'distinct' and 'separate' from each other. Before figuring out what Heart Maths may be at play here... a brief interlude.

Young Adult Gifts Toddler Giant Sword: More Wholesome than it Sounds

Supposedly, the ability to [manifest] & "wield" a keyblade is only possible through a successful Bequeathing Ceremony: Terra performed such a ceremony for Riku in BBS. This, however, is a method passed on by the Master of Masters & subsequent schools of keyblade masters: given... literally EVERYTHING seen on "traditional" schools of keyblade mastery, this Premise is Factually Dubious. The series shows multiple characters manifesting or otherwise wielding keyblades without any such ceremonies: even assuming that these rites "carry over" through acts of Posession and Cloning, the Need for a ceremony becomes questionable. This would not be the first (nor last) time in the KH series that the "knowledge" of Foretellers, Mentors & Scholars prove to be Assumptions rather than Absolute Fact.

Exhibit A: Axel & Accidents

Axel is the best example as, unless we are later informed that Subject X performed the ceremony on Lea (or that Roxas or Xion did so without knowing), Axel has never been part of nor possessed by an existing keyblade wielder: his keyblade is entirely his own, a surprise to all.

Sora & Kairi were never formally bequeathed a keyblade though the latter "accidentally" inherited the ability from Aqua in BBS. Sora never had such a ceremony, the KH Wiki (dubious resource that it is) explains Sora's keyblade wielding as being a result of Ventus sleeping within Sora's Heart: I think it is more likely that, unlike the Formal Ceremonies of past keyblade schools may have taught, Hearts do not actually require outside recognition of "worth" in order to manifest a keyblade.

Once Upon A Meteor Shower

Riku's Heart entrusting Kingdom Key to Sora in KH1, a last-ditch effort from its Light to keep to its Oath of Protection, strikes me as being more "faithful" to what we have observed of keyblades in-game. For all that the formally schooled Keyblade Wielders past recited "May Your Heart Be Your Guiding Key", no one embodies the intent of this principle more than the entirely self-taught Sora: Riku and King Mickey likely next closest in trusting their Hearts over what they have been taught.

A Heart entrusting its physical manifestation to Another due to the Connection between them seems a "Truer" bequeathment than the (admittedly heartwarming) recitations of a stranger. Keyblades may NOW be deemed "weapons" to conquer Darkness... but the original x-blade was made of Light AND Darkness, a union of forces working in balance rather than opposition. The first x-blade was a tool for Protection, not Hurt: a creation of Heart and, thus, of Love.

Exhibit B: Body & Hearts

A creation of "Heart". As in, 1 heart = 1 keyblade. Multiple hearts in 1 body? Multiple keyblades.

Roxas is the Go-To example: the Nobody Twin of Naminé, created when Sora "unlocked" Kairi from his Heart whilst Ventus slept within it.

Roxas, in his every appearance, is capable of Dual Wielding: a keyblade from Sora, a keyblade from Ventus. Upon gaining an independent, replika body... Roxas can still, apparently, dual-wield.

...despite no longer sharing the Hearts of Sora nor Ventus (nor Xion).

(as this is a Riku speculation post, not a "what the heck is up with Roxas" one, i'll just... put a Pin in this mystery for now but the "maths" of 1 heart = 1 keyblade are, indeed, still facts of canon: Nomura confirmed as much when revealing the Above Album Art he made for Utada Hikaru's KH3 songs)

Exhibit C: Proof of Concept

Then we have Aqua: she lost her keyblade between saving Ven & falling into Darkness. The keyblade of Master Eraqus came to her aid: this is consistent with the established concept of Bequeathing Ceremonies. It's uncertain whether the same person can bequeath keyblade-wielding to multiple persons but it seems likely given the scale of the Unions in KHX.

(At that same point in time, the Heart of Eraqus was hidden within a Nort'd Terra: 3 Hearts existed within Apprentice Xehanort, all of them in conflict with each other, to varying degrees.)

The keyblade Aqua receives, the keyblade of Master Eraqus, is named 'Master's Defender'. This was originally the keyblade of the Dandelion Brain but was passed onto Ephemer and from pupil to student until eventually being inherited by Eraqus. This seemingly aligns with the concept of Masters 'bequeathing' keyblades to students, specifically THEIR keyblades.

Interestingly, Riku has never wielded Terra's keyblade (or its likeness, via keychain) 'Earthshaker/Ends of the Earth' after its being bequeathed to him, likely due to its remaining with Terra's 'Soul', the 'Lingering Will' within his armour. If this is the case... NONE of the keyblades Riku has conjured or wielded are a result of his Bequeathment Ceremony. Terra's Keyblade becomes a 6th (or 7th) keyblade connected to Riku, albeit an unused one.

Speaking of Terra...

Xemnas (the Nobody of Apprentice Xehanort AKA 'TerraNort') is NEVER seen wielding a keyblade, let alone two.

...but he DOES wield two [lightsabers]/'Ethereal Blades'.

If Xemnas had ever believed in his own personhood, it's plausible that he could have dual wielded keyblades like Roxas... though the conflict between the Hearts of Xehanort & Terra are unlikely to have cooperated long enough for dualwielding to be sustainable in combat.

Back to the Beginning

Kingdom Key was formed by the Light within Riku's Heart. That Light entrusted itself to Sora while Riku himself was lost in Darkness. Riku is later seen wielding a different keyblade, 'Soul Eater'. Given that KH1 sets up a premise of there being 'two' Kingdom Keys, one of Light & one of Darkness... perhaps 'Soul Eater' was made from the Darkness within Riku's Heart. Maleficent or Ansem SOD would know better than most anyone how to create such a thing.

(it's still Weird that Riku's Heart is the ONLY Heart we see capable of manifesting TWO, simultaneously existing & separately wielded keyblades: Riku using Souleater never prevented Sora from using Kingdom Key; Souleater becoming 'Way to the Dawn' did not affect Kingdom Key; and Riku & Sora use each other's keyblades interchangeably in KH2, even dualwielding at times)

While Riku is possessed by Ansem SoD (the heartless of Apprentice Xehanort), he wields a keyblade forged by the hearts of 6 of the 7 Princesses of Heart: this keyblade is named 'Keyblade of Heart' or 'Keyblade of People's Hearts'. This is an artificially made keyblade, wielded by an entity made up of at least 4 people's Hearts (Riku, Xehanort, Terra, Eraqus) and it does not seem to survive past Ansem SoD's defeat.

During the events of KH2.9 (at the 'Drop Point' between the first timeline of KH3 & Sora's First Retcon), Riku and King Mickey find themselves struggling in the depths of the Realm of Darkness. They had hoped to find the missing Master Aqua yet their journey has only proven the point of Master Yen Sid's preventing such a rescue 10 years prior: alone, surviving the journey to the abyss would be all but impossible. Similarly, Sora immediately post-DDD would not have survived the pace set by Mickey & Riku: Sora needed the lessons and confidence boost he found through Herc & Meg before he was truly ready for Aqua's Attempted Rescue.

Before Sora has his Hero Moment (complete with Riku's slow-mo heart-eye reaction to it), Riku's keyblade 'Way to the Dawn'... breaks. Riku also spontaneously gets a Hair Cut. Not due to any attack landing on him from the Demon Tide nor due to any bout of Gay Agony: just... "randomly" (Sleeping Realm Theory covers this).

So then Riku casually manifests a BRAND NEW KEYBLADE, while not at all possessed nor acting as a Heart Hotel, and that keyblade is Braveheart.

(which is basically Kingdom Key but Make It Modern)

It's also in the Realm of Darkness that Sora & Riku first wield their Combined Keyblade whilst in the same plane of reality: in DDD, they wielded their blade across parallel dreamscapes. The [combined keyblade] in KH3 looks exactly as it did in Dream Drop Distance: half Mirage Split, half Nightmare's End.

How Many Hearts Does 1 Riku Have?

The highest number of "hearts" occupying 1 Riku is 10, in KH1: his own, Xehanort's & Terra's, the ghost of Master Eraqus (still biding his time for Maximum Drama), with the 6 Disney Princesses of Heart smooshed within the 'Keyblade of Heart' the Riku Vessel is wielding.

By that time in KH1, both Sora and Riku have wielded Kingdom Key. Riku had also acquired & begun wielding the 'Souleater' keyblade.

Kingdom Key is the keyblade born of the Light in Riku's Heart: a sword entrusted to a Crowned Prince from someone hidden within water, a gift that marks its wielder as a saviour and a fate-chosen king. Sora bears Riku's Crown, a pendant he is never seen without, and Riku (& his Heart) was sinking within both literal (storm and tide) and metaphoric (falling into darkness/sinking within deep waters) waters when Sora receives Kingdom Key. When Sora arrives in Traverse Town, the Final Fantasy & Disney characters there hold Kingdom Key in reverence: the Key follows Sora so THEY follow him too.

There is an Irony about every keyblade-related argument Sora & Riku have in KH1: Kingdom Key WAS Riku's before it was Sora's, the authority of the sword & reverence given to its wielder WAS on "loan" from Riku... but, ultimately, the wielder chosen by the Physical Representation of Riku's Heart & the Light within it?

Yeah, no, sorry Riku: your Heart Likes Sora More.

After KH1, Riku never attempts to "reclaim" Kingdom Key: it's probably during the events between KH1 & KH2 that Riku realises that Kingdom Key is not only a literal manifestation of his own Heart but that he believes Sora to be the best person to wield that "Heart", that "Destiny".

Even if Riku had not somehow managed to manifest the Souleater/Way to the Dawn keyblade, needing to "borrow" Kingdom Key during his year-long vigil at Sora's bedside... I doubt he would have KEPT the sword or that it would let itself be "kept".

Riku's unique connections to both Light AND Darkness make it somewhat reasonable to conclude that 'Souleater' is the Dark counterpart to Kingdom Key: a keyblade formed by the Darkness of Riku's Heart, a keyblade that evolves to 'Way to the Dawn' and Riku's efforts to master his Darkness and return to the Light.

(this still begs the question: how the heck does Kingdom Key-D fit into all this?? no, i'm genuinely asking: what is up with that keyblade)

ALTERNATIVELY! Kingdom Key-D was very logically forged by Riku's Darkness, manifesting in the Realm of Darkness alongside the Fallen Destiny Islands. This makes it Interesting that Mickey could carry it around prior to personally meeting Riku but, regardless of any realizations on its nature & likely relationship with Riku (or Sora), Mickey wields this keyblade-D from KH1 onward.

(This potentially leaves Mickey's Original Keyblade, seen in BBS, as yet ANOTHER keyblade available for Riku's use: the count has risen to 9, 8 if excluding Key-D.)

So... if Riku's Darkness forged Kingdom Key-D, what was Souleater & what IS Braveheart?

Alt #1: Riku, like any Strange Pond Person, can summon as many Magic Swords as Destiny Requires because... he is Literally Kingdom Hearts & that leaves ALL hearts "free" for his use.

Alt #2: The keyblades Riku wields (Souleater, Way to the Dawn & Braveheart) are all manifestations of SORA'S Heart. Sora may be oblivious as to why he is so fixated on Riku but, if Chain of Memories is anything to go by, Sora's HEART knows what it wants, damnit! Even without any allegedly required Bequeathment Ceremony, Riku is a "Child of Destiny" and had already crowned Sora as one too: just as Riku's Heart reached out to Sora, Sora's Heart may have reached BACK for Riku. Thus both boys end up with Keyblades: each holding onto a piece of the other (somewhat literally).

This gives additional explanation to their easy trading & wielding of each other's Keyblades in KH2: the keyblades "belonged" to BOTH boys and always had.

This interpretation easily applies itself to Sleeping Realm Theory, too: 'Way to the Dawn' still "broke" because of Riku's Sacrifice but instead of figuratively representing Riku's Heart "breaking" via his actually Dying, it would represent physically the effect that Sacrifice had on Sora: his Heart broke, "dying" with Riku.

Alt #3: Riku's extra keyblades were from Maleficent, "Ansem", Ansem &/or King Mickey. The timeline allows for Maleficent's providing Riku with the 'Souleater' keyblade: it does not QUITE align for the broken connection between Riku & his Would-Be Fairy Godmother that we can assume happened upon her death in KH1, nor account for any effects caused by her subsequent "resurrection". The timelines required for the other candidates to be involved are not consistent with that of the games nor supplementary canon.

Before wrapping up, let's acknowledge the Giant Crowned Rainbow Sword in the room:

The [combined keyblade], wielded by Riku & Sora in DDD & KH3, is a manifestation of "their Hearts [beating] In Tune". It is That Simple: any efforts to straightwash its existence WILL cause plot holes so just Accept The Gayblade is Gay.

That the Gayblade just so coincidentally resembles both the Ultima keyblade(s) and various x-blades, definitely fit most description of what the x-blade is & how it can be made?

These are also Just Gay. Kingdom Hearts has been building up to (gay) Love being the Ultimate Power of the series from its very beginning: it has ALWAYS used heart imagery and symbolism, used Disney Couples to mirror the changing relationship of Sora & Riku, used "the connections between hearts" as a child's understanding of love (in all forms).

The logical evolution for a Coming of Age journey about a Boy & his Best Friend, in a series that repeatedly uses & is named for 'hearts', who have become stronger as their hearts became more attuned... is for said Boy to realise, acknowledge and recognise that the connection of their hearts has Changed into something less platonic: romantic love, like that between couples in Disney films, like Riku (& Selphie) brought up to Sora through star-shaped fruit before ever exploring those stars personally.

The [combined keyblade] was naturally forged through mutual devotion: its existence implies that the fabled x-blade of legend was ALSO forged by mutual love, that Kingdom Hearts chose its guardian because of Love, that the x-blade's legendary strengh came from its need to protect its dearly Beloved: there is no Straight Explanation for Sora & Riku being able to make the combined keyblade.

[gentrychild]

oh my AFO I just had the worst thought ever based on your Izuku Sohma AU. If you've ever seen the spoof movie, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail', then continue reading. If you haven't, go watch it and come back because it's great. Anyways. Izuku's hero name is straight-up Killer Rabbit, he also goes for the jugular and has a real excuse to be straight-up feral bc he's a 'wild animal'. Every time right before he turns back, without fail, someone yells "THROW THE HOLY HAND GRENADE!" It's terrible.

I would be really disappointed in the characters of all my bunny Izuku AUs if I don’t have Monthy Python jokes.

[kitsipher]

Dear anonymous person who sent me this, uh.... I broke it and now I can't respond to your ask :3

1. What is you middle name? : Layne

2. How old are you? : 14!!

3. When is your birthday? : February 16th

4. What is your zodiac sign? : Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? : Blue/green/purple

6. What’s your lucky number? : 4 ig?

7. Do you have any pets? : 3 dogs, 6 cats, 1 ferret, and fish:3

8. Where are you from? : AMERICAAA YAAAAA (Washington state)

9. How tall are you? : 5'5 -ish

10. What shoe size are you? : 9 1/2 - 10 (wide) ((very flat footed))

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? : erm at least 7

12. What was your last dream about? : Minecraft

13. What talents do you have? : uhm.. I can shape my tongue like an clover

14. Are you psychic in any way? : I can feel when the vibe is off trust

15. Favorite song? : Erm.. The Summoning-Sleep token

16. Favorite movie? : Monty Python: the holy grail

17. Who would be your ideal partner? : Idrc someone nice and artistic ig

18. Do you want children? : at least one

19. Do you want a church wedding? : not really

20. Are you religious? : Not really, I am spiritual tho-

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? : Plenty of times ✨️

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? : No✨️

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? : No but I met my town's mayor when I was younger

24. Baths or showers? : Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? : Mismatch!! (One pink and white and one grey and white)

26. Have you ever been famous? :I don't think so

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? : not really

28. What type of music do you like? : Indie rock, and rock (I'll listen to anything though-)

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? : NOOO

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? : at most 3, usually 2

31. What position do you usually sleep in? : side

32. How big is your house? : 2 stories

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? : cereal maybe (usually I just snack on stuff)

34. Have you ever fired a gun? : Yes >:)

35. Have you ever tried archery? : Yes again- I feel like Merida when archery

36. Favorite clean word? : Fridge

37. Favorite swear word? : I don't curse

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? : a day and a half

39. Do you have any scars? : side of my foot, my shin, both my knees, my arms

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? : yes..

41. Are you a good liar? : I don't believe so

42. Are you a good judge of character? : most of the time

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? : Southern and Australian (the Australian one isn't very good)

44. Do you have a strong accent? : No clue, I say stuff weird tho

45. What is your favorite accent? : Southern

46. What is your personality type? : Up beat, outgoing, and creative ig

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? : a hoodie ✨️

48. Can you curl your tongue? : Yes, Clover shape

49. Are you an innie or an outie? : innie

50. Left or right handed? : Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? : I'm startled by spiders

52. Favorite food? : Stroganoff and lasagna

53. Favorite foreign food? : Stroganoff?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? : Clean

55. Most used phrased? : "Gosh narbit" "fight me" and "What the fridge"

56. Most used word? : "Fridge" or "Like"

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? : a little less than 10 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? : a bit

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? : Bite

60. Do you talk to yourself? : yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? : yes

62. Are you a good singer? : I don't feel like it

63. Biggest Fear? : Being stared at

64. Are you a gossip? : no

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? : erm..?

66. Do you like long or short hair? : Shorter hair

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? : Nope

68. Favorite school subject? : I had to make my own village

69. Extrovert or Introvert? : extrovert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? : nope

71. What makes you nervous? : heights

72. Are you scared of the dark? : A little (more of what I see in the dark)

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? : Yes

74. Are you ticklish? : You gotta tickle me in a certain way

75. Have you ever started a rumor? : nope

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? : yep

77. Have you ever drank underage? : .... no... ( a little bit not enough to get me drunk. a little taste)

78. Have you ever done drugs? : no

79. Who was your first real crush? : no

80. How many piercings do you have? : two on each ear

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ : nope

82. How fast can you type? : pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? : girl I'm asthmatic

84. What color is your hair? : Ginger

85. What color is your eyes? : hazel mostly green

86. What are you allergic to? : Penecilin, fake metal, adhesives

87. Do you keep a journal? : yes but I often forget it

88. What do your parents do? : .y mom is an artist and my dad is table games at the casino

89. Do you like your age? : yes

90. What makes you angry? : Idiots

91. Do you like your own name? : Yes

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? : Sam

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? : idc

94. What are you strengths? : I'm creative

95. What are your weaknesses? : Overthinking

96. How did you get your name? : Season

97. Were your ancestors royalty? : No? They were vikings and the president George Washington tho

98. Do you have any scars? : yes

99. Color of your bedspread? : blue

100. Color of your room? : also blue

[fandomfluffandfuck]

I just started the second season of Galavant, (imagine if Monty Python and the Holy Grail was fused with The Greatest Showman) and this song was in the first episode. I think you'll appreciate it. I sure did. Also, I can't help but imagine Bucky in the Queen's place and Steve in Galavant's (the guy who the song is sung too.) -🐍 https://youtu.be/sB6Wu-dwENM?si=VzvteaZW9BxtnCXn

[Link] to a YouTube video showing Kylie Minogue's "Off With His Shirt"

I love being someone who doesn't really watch TV or movies and doesn't have any streaming service subscriptions and in a movie-based fandom because then it creates situations like this where I have no goddamn idea what's happening, lmao. It genuinely is entertaining for me. You just mentioned four movies/shows and I haven't seen a single fucking one of 'em 💀💀

I live under a rock, I know

Anyway--

You trespassed upon my kingdom Now you are in my sway Which basic'ly means as the Queen of all Queens I'm going to make you pay Will we be throwing him in the dungeon? Or tossing him to the Bear? Well, one thing for sure We'll settle the score And trust me it's more than fair Off with his shirt Yeah Strip him down Don't be shy, boys go to town I'll bet that chest is heaven blessed So firm and cut Off with his top Yeah Let it fly Check that six pack It's to die Tell every Lance and Bruce and Curt Off with his shirt Oh this is so fun. I want to fly like her, too. Someone pick me up. Pick me up too. Ooo, so now that you're in my power We'll put you behind these bars There you will stay taking orders all day 'Till Mars is aligned with Mars For our pleasure, we'll keep you waiting We'll adjust how long you serve But baby, you bet You're gonna get The punishment we deserve Off with his shirt Yeah That's the deal You're a beef-cake happy meal Go on you guys Just feast your eyes Until they hurt Off with his shirt Yeah 'Till the dawn Dig that lush pectoral lawn Drink in those lats and traps and delts And after that who knows what else? So save some room boys for dessert Oh, off with his shirt

Oh.

(Throwing him to the bear and then showing just a fucking guy got me, lol)

It's the way she pushes him around for me... the slap... the heel in the middle of his chest... it's giving ✨️submissive✨️

So, fuck yeah, I would love to see a stucky version of that 😏 keep Steve not as a prisoner but as a piece of eye candy. I think he lives not in the dungeon but on a kneeling cushion next to Bucky's thrown, that, or, in Bucky's private chamber probably still on his knees.

Thanks for sharing!

[bawdiestrhymester]

What would each of the Button House ghosts (plus Alison and Mike) think of Monty Python after watching the TV show Flying Circus and the MP movies (ANFSCD, Holy Grail, Life of Brian, Meaning of Life) for film club/film night (in your opinion)?

I think each ghost might enjoy it. Of course Pat and Julian would have seen it while they were alive, so it would be familiar. Cap and Fanny may think some of the humour is crude, though. Kitty might not understand a lot of it. Thomas would think it wasn’t sophisticated enough. Robin would like it, as would Humphrey.

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Its the end of the year! Which means its time to post the

Tags That Made Me Smile 2022

The following are a collective list of tags, author notes, and fic names that i saw on ao3 and tumblr that made me either laugh or smile. Ive separated them by fandom but a good amount arent actually fandom specific. Ive added the character names or fandom at the end like {name} to clarify who the tag is talking about

[2021's list]

Author Specific / Non-Specific

i saw canon; acknowledged it; And promply burned it in a dirty trash can thanks; Have this instead

Give me pain I need to feel something

this is self projection thank you coming to my ted talk

Whats that?? Overused tropes that everyone has seen before????? Pfffffffft. This fic is literally just a big mess of "how can I cater to myself and myself only"

you ever just look at your life and wonder how you got here; bc that's what this fic is for me

Don't underestimate me I DO NOT know how long this fan-fic will be

can you tell my target audience is myself

this is content specifically catered to me and no one else

these characters are my landlords and i pay them rent

P O L Y A M O R Y   I S   M Y   P O L Y J A M O R Y

cheek kiss warning

kidnapping isn’t sexy don’t do it

i've never read the archie comics but that's not gonna stop me {archie sonic}

not me writing a whole fic for a ship only i care about; that like maybe two other people ship; rowing this boat is hard but someone has to do it {scourge x fleetway sonic}

ankles don't heal this fast but fuck it i do what i want

no beta we die like men; or rather we drown like the sad shipper with a pool noodle we are

I'm afraid of the Danimals mascot and you should be too

if you're getting flood warnings, don't worry. It's just MY TEARS!

me at every character: anxiety be upon ye

Me (Grabs canon and runs a marathon with it)

Quote: Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he's created (Spy Kids) {tmnt crossover}

Alternate Universe - Monty Python and the Holy Grail

contains dangerous amount of bed based snuggling

(kind of its a very short very homosexual fight scene); and then they kiss.

Hostage situation takes a romantic turn???? Not clickbait????

enemies to frenemies

Improper Use of Pool Noodles

stone cold stoicism meeting determined stupidity

Star Wars

Kanan Jarrus: The Daddening

platonic love is what healed his lonely existence {din djarin}

when in doubt: road trip with the besties {din, boba, fennec}

Soul Eater

found family at its finest {kid, liz, patty}

The Witcher

wife (platonic) {yennskier}

at first I was like haha geralt and Istredd should kiss as a joke…. but bro I don’t think it’s a joke anymore….

Sonic the Hedgehog

Movie!Super Sonic is made out of LOVE no one touch me

Sonics gay awakening I guess

sonic movie 2 made me make an ao3 account lol

Sonic was made to love people

Two Bros Chillin’ in an ER Five Feet Apart ‘cause they’re not gay {sonic x shadow}

the most dangerous thing is to love {shadow}

Trapped in a small box with just enough room to face some feelings {sonic x shadow}

the R in rivalry stand for romance {sonic x shadow}

The L in Rivalry Stands For 'Love' {sonic x shadow}

A Largely Platonic Cave

i love boom!shadow so naturally i made him even more insufferable

Sad-ow

Wachowskis holdin it down in the bg; Absolute champs

I love how Shadow is just so mindbogglingly utterly done with reality

Knuckles is a guardian of all things great and small

“Would you kiss a worm?" “If he was cute as fuck? Yeah.” {wade x stone}

"What is this made of, bendable titanium?!" "INCORRECT. IT IS MADE OF THE FRUSTRATIONS OF MOTHERS EVERYWHERE." {team dark}

featuring a scourge that trips far too much because it's my fic and I said so {scourge x fleetway sonic}

no thoughts just soft hedgehog moments

listen if im going to die at the hands of injured lancelot shit i might as well take advantage of it

Everyone has a crush on Lancelot and I'll die on this hill

fairy Lancelot Fairy Lancelot FAIRY LANCELOT!!!

TMNT

Slow Burn; mostly on april's end of things; casey and donnie are basically on fire right off the bat {tmnt 2012}

Rise!Donnie and 2012!Casey be out there committing arson together for their first date >.>

Please enjoy Casey, the fool, realizing his feelings for Donnie, another fool {tmnt 2012}

Draxum and Splinter are the turtles' dads (it's a reluctant partnership)

just two absolute powerhouses holding each other gently {raph x mona}

“There’s nothing wrong with the way you love, Dee. Goodnight.” {rottmnt}

Wondering what to do when the apocalypse happens? Easy: fly across the country and get Vegas-married. That's definetley an appropriate reaction that won't involve your complicated feelings towards your roommate at all {hypno x warren}

Look rise are weapons of war 12 were accidents and I play with that HARD in this fic

"GET IN THE TURTLE TANK BITCHES WE GOING TO FAMILY THERAPY" {rottmnt}

Donatello is now Dad-Atello {rottmnt}

The other [Casey] is out on a beach in Tahiti; It's what he deserves after surviving the Krang {rottmnt}

Leo is now actively being hunted for sport; (the only sport Donnie is good at) {rottmnt}

These turtles can fit so much trauma

2018 Karai lives because fuck Nick; Casey x Donnie x April are a healthy ship and also fuck nick again

I cant be the only one pissed by Leo's and Karais 'love interest plot'; Leonardo's weird feelings were simply gender envy...Yes that is canon now {tmnt 2012}

What happens when two "dudes" call each other 'girlfriend'; Transgender activities, that's what! {tmnt 2012}

splinter is twice divorced and never married {rottmnt}

Papatello / Dadatello {rottmnt}

draxum's gone from dadxum to grand-dadxum good for him

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YES YES YES YES; GRANDPA BARRY COMING IN CLUTCH

draxum just be like gramps still got it; and by 'it' i mean a complete lack of forethought for care when creating random children

Puts the Bi in Bitchless {rottmnt leo}

its because ninja turtles

feral mamatello {rottmnt}

Marvel

it's the anguish, the self flagellation, the audacity to love the man who annihilate ur nation and killed ur mother; your m o t h e r {black panther}